Tetzaveh: Heart Clothing

March 2025 Malkhut Kabbalat Shabbat Sermon

My mother gave me this Star of David pendant a few years ago, before she died. It’s a silver star inlaid in a flower of celestial green iridescent stone. She told me it belonged to her favorite aunt, Tante Dora, whom she loved dearly, and who she gave me my Hebrew name (Devorah) after. She would run to Tante Dora whenever she had a fight with my grandma, which I gather was fairly often. Tante Dora always provided a safe and loving space for her. When I put on this pendant, I feel like I’m putting on the most dazzling armor, like I’m crowning myself with the beauty and protection of my lineage, of the strength of the women in my family in particular. It makes me feel loved, grounded, ready.

In Parshat Tetzaveh, God instructs Moses in the intricate priestly garments that Aaron and his sons will wear inside the Tent of Meeting. One component is Aaron’s choshen mishpat–breastplate of decision. Aaron dons this breastplate when there is some problem coming up in the community, maybe a challenge to a ruling, or atonement needs to be made for an error, and he must approach the presence of YHVH in the Tent of Meeting for decision and guidance. Try and picture this garment: woven of gold, blue, purple, and crimson yarn and adorned with twelve different colored gemstones inscribed with the names of the twelve tribes of Israel. Seems like a pretty fabulous costume for such a heavy moment.

Sixteenth century commentator Sforno writes that the purpose of this garment was to remind God of the merits of the ancestors. When Aaron approached the altar, and God saw the names of the founding tribes of Israel on Aaron’s vest, and thus was reminded of their goodness, God would be more likely to respond to the current generation with compassion and favor. But I wonder if the function of this garment went both ways. Perhaps it was also meant to create a certain heart-mind space within Aaron that would prepare him in some way for this vital meeting. The clothes we wear can affect how our bodies feel, can affect our mood, our emotions, attention, how we show up in the moment.

Take a minute and think about a favorite article of clothing or jewelry that you own. Something that makes you feel most like you. When do you wear it? How does it change your presence? How do you feel without it?

Next week at Purim when we read the Megillah, we come to the moment in the story when Esther prepares herself to face King Ahashverosh to put in motion the plan that would ultimately save the Jews from extermination. We read, “vatilbash Esther malkhut,” which we might understand simply as “Esther put on her royal apparel,” maybe a fancy dress, some royal insignia. But as my teacher Vivie Mayer taught me, we can also read it as Esther putting on her malkhut, putting on her royalty, her sovereignty, her most powerful and grounded presence, which speaks to a deeper preparation that is not just outward, but inward. What does it mean for us, here at Malkhut, to put on our malkhut?

For Aaron, it means to literally clothe himself in his ancestors–that’s what he needs in order to come into the presence of Hashem. When I think of the image of Aaron wearing the names of the tribes of Israel over his heart, I wonder what would change if during moments of crisis, challenge, or decision, our hearts were clothed with an awareness of our family, ancestors, community? We might not make a decision from the small-mind awareness of feeling alone, but from the more expansive and easeful mind-state of feeling supported. Or when we make a mistake, we might not lacerate ourselves with guilt quite as much if we could remember all those who love us, if we could remember that an unskillful act does not define us.

And especially for those in positions of power, to place before them at all times the community they are responsible for, and to let their heart be moved by the needs and vulnerabilities of all those beings. That leader’s choices are much more likely to be informed by compassion rather than by ego. Coming from a place of feeling held, rather than feeling alone, can help us access the wisdom and insight we need to move forward.

I’d like to invite us to try something together with a brief contemplation. We won’t have time as a group to talk about our experience with this practice during the service, but feel free to chat with me at dinner if you want to share how this landed for you, or reach out over email after Shabbat. And if any of the instructions I’m about to give are not right for you for any reason, it’s fine to take a break, open your eyes, and just rest.

Take a moment and close your eyes or soften your gaze, find a comfortable position, and ground yourself in your body sitting here, in your breath moving in and out.

Bring to mind something moderately difficult you are facing. Not the most difficult thing, something medium-level. It could be a conflict with someone you are close with, or an important decision you have to make. It could be something you judge yourself for, or something going on in the world that you are struggling to engage with. There might be lots to choose from just choosing one for now. Bringing this situation into your mind. Noticing the emotions that arise: sadness, anger, frustration, guilt...giving space for what you are feeling, and for any discomfort that arises.

Now invoking a person or animal or group of people, or even a tree or a plant, that makes you feel loved and supported. Bring their image into your mind or a sense of their presence, and imagine them sending their love and support to you–their love may take the form of a beam of light emanating from them to you, or receiving their smile and the love in their eyes, or encouraging words that they might say to you. Imagine their love settling over your body, over your heart, like a holy garment. Imagine their love as a sacred vest, acting as both a shield of armor to you, and a filter for your response. You could even place a hand over your heart for a moment, if you’d like, gathering their love into your heart-center.

And now, inviting the difficult situation you began with back into your mind, imagine coming face to face with it, while wearing your holy garment of love. Even if the situation itself hasn’t changed, notice if anything about how you are relating to it feels any different. If not, that’s totally fine, this is a practice. Beginning to let go of this contemplation, letting go of images. Knowing that if this practice is helpful for you, you can bring it with you into your life, into difficult and challenging moments. Taking a few nourishing breaths, and if your eyes have been closed, you can open them, looking around the room, seeing everyone here, noticing color, light, dark, shapes.

Especially in these days when the future seems so uncertain, when cruelty and inhumanity is loud and emboldened, it is even more important to don our own personal breastpiece of decision, to clothe ourselves in our malkhut. Whether it’s something tangible that we wear around our neck or touch inside our pocket, or whether it’s as simple as a pause to breathe and draw down the strength of those who have loved us. Then, like Aaron, and like Esther, we can be ready to face the awesome, uncertain, and frightening Holy Temple of this present moment, and show up in divine and earthly service of our community and our world. Shabbat Shalom.